Tears Far Away

Many of us were glued to our televisions, radios and the internet as we all braced our collective hearts for those facing down the killer hurricanes Dean and Felix. Once these hurricanes had done there dastardly deeds of rain, floods, winds and homicidal thrust into the communities they visited and the sensational photos and coverage were filed away in our minds, most of us went back to our everyday lives.

Yea, I said ‘most everyone’. True, we certainly think of those who are living in wake and aftermath of the hurricane’s path as they clean up the mess that hurricanes bring. Hurricanes never any fun. We think of these individuals as we hear the death toll rising in Nicaragua for example.

But there is another group that does not get the publicity and attention that they ought to and frankly who need helpful support as well.

Who are these people? Where are they?

They are the “Distant Grievers“. Where are they you ask?
They are everywhere in our towns and communities or the cities and metropolitan areas not too far away from our own homes. They live, work, shop and play among us with silent voices and broken hearts.

Our world is now so migratory that individuals and families who once lived close by are now living not only miles away but thousands of miles away in far off lands. These are the people who are wondering about family and loved ones who can not be reached since the communication infrastructure is so disrupted. These are the individuals who want to go home but for what ever reason can not travel the longs distance right now.

Can you imagine how it must feel to wonder if your loved ones are OK and you can’t get a single quick call in to any of your friends and family to find out if your mother or son is listed as one of the hundreds of injured or dead? Imagine how fearful you would be if it was your mother, father, best friend or spouse / partner or child. Consider the frantic and over whelming panic that would spring up quickly in your heart.

After the first few days of media coverage with the fancy maps, the painful pictures, etc, the press reporters soon go to the next news-worthy event. Seems for those who are distant grievers that the world forgets what happened with a hurricane so far away.

Still, you who are so far away must search for any scrapes of information on the well-being of your homeland, community and family. Rumors run rampant until someone - anyone gets a call. That call can be weeks away from occurring. Times goes by so slowly, it creeps along without mercy. At times it can feel like light years until that precious call or letter arrives and then you know. And then you know.... the news is never good news. There is always pain, fear, tears and sorrow, not mention guilt.

As these distant grievers worry and grieve for a homeland far away, they are still expected to show up to work, school and other social events as usual. They are expected by society to act “normally” as much as possible.

The ‘acting normally” is not to help those who grieve from a distance, but to keep us who are not affected personally by the hurricane disaster emotionally comfortable. Many of us don’t want to think about the painful side of things especially disasters and hurricanes in particular. So we want our lives only to be touched superficially by the disaster horrors of our world though the 'at arms length’ of the internet or TV. Yet these distant grievers often must experience tears, fear and panic far away with little support. Without any or many arms that will reach out locally in help and support.

COMMENTS WELCOMED!

Are you or have you been a Distant Griever? Do you know someone who is or has been a distant griever in the past?

Please share your thoughts and stories here on this blog.

All I ask is that everyone be respectful and sensitive of each other and that identifying information about a person who is not the author be limited to protect their privancy.

TOMORROW’S BLOG: In tomorrow’s blog I’ll discuss some of the frustrations people have who are ‘Distant Grievers”. See ya then!

Please let me know what your thoughts or experiences are.

Peace and blessings

Terrie

www.trainforahurricane.com

Dr. Terrie Modesto, Critical Incident Thanatologsit

An international expert in dying, death, loss and critical incident individual and community disaster preparation and response, with over 60 courses, books and training manuals to her credit. She has 20+ years experience in assisting those in need. Dr. Modesto is available for consultations, lectures media interviews.

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